New Year Reflections
Since that thought provoking phone call last spring my life has been one wild roller coaster ride that has left me one phone call shy of the looney bin.
Since that phone call from my Dad that left me reflecting I have learned more than I ever dreamed imaginable about terms like A1C, ALTCS, ACCCHS, GFR, BPH, DNR, POA, TTE & ME-SOC. I have been educated on catheters, dentures, cataracts, blood glucose levels, & Dementia. I have learned the process for foreclosure, enacting a power of attorney, establishing a Miller's Trust & consulting with an attorney. I have learned to do things I never imagined I could do; hack into someones online accounts & lie straight to someones face. I have become adept at scanning documents, emailing said documents & shredding papers. I have come to appreciate the compassion of CNAs, RNs & hospice workers. I have overcome my fear & uneasiness in a nursing home. I have seen what a diet of soda & junk food can do to a diabetic. I have seen that a little bit of TLC, proper nutrition & regularly & consistently taking medications can go a long way to improve someones health. I have witnessed what giving up looks like. I have felt the heartache of Alzheimers. I experienced the weight of signing away someone else's life with a do not resuscitate order. I have witnessed how the power of the Priesthood & agency can extend a life.
Shortly after the last "normal" phone call with my Dad, I found myself driving to Payson, AZ to take over as my Dad's caregiver. His "wife" Lee, of about 5 years had decided to leave when he was admitted to the hospital for the second time within a month for symptoms of uncontrolled diabetes. When I got there and as the reality of this new role began to reveal itself it became very apparent that my Dad had not gotten the proper care he needed for quite sometime. It turned out to be a blessing that she was leaving and through all the anger and frustration I felt for Lee I came to realize that despite her lack of attention and care for my Dad she allowed him to stay in his home in Payson as long as possible.
When he was released from the hospital after 3 days he went to stay in a nursing home. He declined quickly due to a reaction to a newly prescribed medication. He refused all care and was giving up on life. He was battling a C-diff infection and was going down hill fast. I had said my goodbyes and was preparing that my Dad's earthly life was coming to an end. One of the nurses called me one day to tell me that my Dad had told her that a nurse in white had come in and told him that he would be going home tomorrow.
His return to his heavenly home never occurred, in fact just the opposite began to happen shortly there after. I received a phone call from a nurse one night to tell me that my Dad had decided that he wanted a do-over. He wanted to live and he wanted to know what he had to do to get out of there. He began to eat. He began to take his medications when the nurses brought them. He began to actively participate in OT, PT & Speech. And he began to physically get stronger & healthier with each passing day.
But sadly despite his body recovering, his memory has only continued to deteriorate. In the early stages of his "do-over" I would get multiple daily phone calls telling me he was in prison and to come get him. I would be on the receiving end of unkind, manipulative, and demanding phone conversations. As time has gone by and he has become a long term resident of the nursing home he has settled down. As his nutrition has improved and his blood sugar has stabilized his anxieties have lessened. But yet he regularly does not know where he is, why he is there, how he got there or how long he has been there. His memory of the last 5 years is non-existent. His memory of the last 10-15 years is spotty.
Since spring I have been on one wild roller coaster ride...and I don't like roller coasters!! I was absent a lot physically, mentally & emotionally from my little family for the better part of 2019. I have no idea what the future holds for my Dad. Based on his vital signs he could be around a long time and this roller coaster ride of long distance caretaker could continue on for some time. I hope the hardest, and most thrilling parts of the ride are past. I hope the ride ahead will be more scenic and enjoyable with visits, outings and making memories.
Here's to a Happy New Year! Good-bye Old Year! 🥳🎉
Since that phone call from my Dad that left me reflecting I have learned more than I ever dreamed imaginable about terms like A1C, ALTCS, ACCCHS, GFR, BPH, DNR, POA, TTE & ME-SOC. I have been educated on catheters, dentures, cataracts, blood glucose levels, & Dementia. I have learned the process for foreclosure, enacting a power of attorney, establishing a Miller's Trust & consulting with an attorney. I have learned to do things I never imagined I could do; hack into someones online accounts & lie straight to someones face. I have become adept at scanning documents, emailing said documents & shredding papers. I have come to appreciate the compassion of CNAs, RNs & hospice workers. I have overcome my fear & uneasiness in a nursing home. I have seen what a diet of soda & junk food can do to a diabetic. I have seen that a little bit of TLC, proper nutrition & regularly & consistently taking medications can go a long way to improve someones health. I have witnessed what giving up looks like. I have felt the heartache of Alzheimers. I experienced the weight of signing away someone else's life with a do not resuscitate order. I have witnessed how the power of the Priesthood & agency can extend a life.
Shortly after the last "normal" phone call with my Dad, I found myself driving to Payson, AZ to take over as my Dad's caregiver. His "wife" Lee, of about 5 years had decided to leave when he was admitted to the hospital for the second time within a month for symptoms of uncontrolled diabetes. When I got there and as the reality of this new role began to reveal itself it became very apparent that my Dad had not gotten the proper care he needed for quite sometime. It turned out to be a blessing that she was leaving and through all the anger and frustration I felt for Lee I came to realize that despite her lack of attention and care for my Dad she allowed him to stay in his home in Payson as long as possible.
When he was released from the hospital after 3 days he went to stay in a nursing home. He declined quickly due to a reaction to a newly prescribed medication. He refused all care and was giving up on life. He was battling a C-diff infection and was going down hill fast. I had said my goodbyes and was preparing that my Dad's earthly life was coming to an end. One of the nurses called me one day to tell me that my Dad had told her that a nurse in white had come in and told him that he would be going home tomorrow.
His return to his heavenly home never occurred, in fact just the opposite began to happen shortly there after. I received a phone call from a nurse one night to tell me that my Dad had decided that he wanted a do-over. He wanted to live and he wanted to know what he had to do to get out of there. He began to eat. He began to take his medications when the nurses brought them. He began to actively participate in OT, PT & Speech. And he began to physically get stronger & healthier with each passing day.
But sadly despite his body recovering, his memory has only continued to deteriorate. In the early stages of his "do-over" I would get multiple daily phone calls telling me he was in prison and to come get him. I would be on the receiving end of unkind, manipulative, and demanding phone conversations. As time has gone by and he has become a long term resident of the nursing home he has settled down. As his nutrition has improved and his blood sugar has stabilized his anxieties have lessened. But yet he regularly does not know where he is, why he is there, how he got there or how long he has been there. His memory of the last 5 years is non-existent. His memory of the last 10-15 years is spotty.
Since spring I have been on one wild roller coaster ride...and I don't like roller coasters!! I was absent a lot physically, mentally & emotionally from my little family for the better part of 2019. I have no idea what the future holds for my Dad. Based on his vital signs he could be around a long time and this roller coaster ride of long distance caretaker could continue on for some time. I hope the hardest, and most thrilling parts of the ride are past. I hope the ride ahead will be more scenic and enjoyable with visits, outings and making memories.
Here's to a Happy New Year! Good-bye Old Year! 🥳🎉
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