Calm & Relaxed

Back when Rachel was in preschool & Elizabeth 1st grade I had another mom stop me one morning as I was headed out the door of the Elementary school after dropping Elizabeth off and say to me, "You always look so calm & relaxed when I see you." I smiled, a little mischievously I am sure, and responded, "Thank you!" But in my mind my reply was more like, "Wow! I sure have you fooled. I now get to spend half the day with a 3 year old & a 1 year old...nothing calm or relaxing about that. But OK...." As I drove home I thought, "It must be the Holy Ghost that she is noticing because there is nothing about me that is calm or relaxed."

Fast forward 9 years...after dropping Rachel (8th grade) off at 7:10am, John (5th grade) & Sarah (4th grade) off at 8:40am & then Elizabeth (10th grade) off at 10:15am I drove away from the high school with one kiddo, Jacob (starting preschool in 19 days) in the van & for the first time in who knows how long I actually felt calm & relaxed. I didn't feel rushed to get somewhere or rushed to get something done. Jacob asked as we left the high school if we could go see the train caboose at the museum...so we did. We visited the caboose and wondered around the museum to see what other train items we could find all without a care in the world...even though I had toys strewn all over the house, laundry to do, grocery list to make, bathrooms to clean, items on my to-do list for Young Womens, etc.

I have read that a mom of a special needs child has the stress level of a combat soldier & I believe it! My mind is always going and on the ready to diffuse a meltdown and strategically orchestrate my next move in my feeble attempt to keep everything in equilibrium. 

Add in Mom responsibilities for 4 other kiddos, maintaining a home, keeping finances in check, and serving in the church Young Women's organization; not to mention all the things my heart would love to do but can't find the time or financial resources to accomplish and high stress has sadly morphed its way into "normal".

What a true blessing I experienced this morning to be calm & relaxed even if just for a few moments...

...Happy First Day of School to me!