Make Me Equal To My Task
Warning: This post contains tender thoughts and feelings from corners of my heart and probably is full of more thought than the average person wants to read at this busy time of year . . . but I have chosen to share it this Christmas Season because . . . I feel it needs to be shared.
Once Upon A Time . . . there was a girl who seemed to have good grasp on the concept of Faith and Trust in the Lord.
Let me illustrate . . . after returning home from serving for 18 months as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints I was sitting one evening in my Mom's apartment doing . . . I don't remember. But while I was doing, I don't remember what, I heard a very distinct voice in my mind say, "You need to go to Dental Hygiene School." It totally caught me off guard, I had a job waiting for me as an Orthodontic Assistant at the office I worked at before serving a mission. I loved what I did there and felt content to make that my career. But I knew the source of this voice, it was the Lord speaking to me through the Holy Ghost. My response in my mind to this voice was . . ."OK. I don't really want to do that, but if that is what you want me to do then help me learn to love it."
Over the course of the next several years I took night classes at the local college so I could get my prerequisites completed so I could begin applying to dental hygiene schools. As I went to work everyday I began to become very passionate about what I did and began to truly have a desire and interest in pursuing dental hygiene. I looked into what seemed like every dental hygiene school west of the Mississippi. I applied to several; rejected by one, accepted by another and put on a waiting list for still another.
At each step along the way I felt my Heavenly Father guiding me and helping me chart the course he wanted me to take. During this time I met Paul, we got married began a family and I was pregnant with baby #2 when my time on the waiting list was over. I had a hard decision to make, but once again Heavenly Father guided me and helped me to know what He wanted me to do (that experience is a whole other blog post). I knew unmistakably what He needed me to do and I did it without looking back. Ultimately I never did go to dental hygiene school.
Fast Forward about 15 years; I was sitting in Sacrament Meeting a couple of Sunday's ago listening to our wonderful new Bishop give a talk on the Atonement when I remembered this forgotten experience. I realized then I needed to apply the Faith I once had to other aspects of my life. For sometime now I have struggled with a particular challenge that Heavenly Father has put in my life, having very little Faith that I could do it and lacking desire to do it. In one of my darkest times concerning this challenge I remember praying, I think more out of habit that anything else, and hearing these words, "I will help you." Unfortunately my doubting reply was, "I don't believe you." What kind of person says that to the Lord? Anyway, His reply back was, "I can't help you if you don't believe me. I guess then I can't help you then."
I have replayed this conversation over and over again in my mind since then wondering just how do I let the Lord help me? In all honesty I would really like a fairy Godmother to just take it all away. Then a couple of Sunday's ago this wonderful experience I had about 15 years ago showed me the answer . . . the Lord will not change the challenge or circumstances surrounding this challenge . . . but he will change my heart. "If this is what you want me to do then help me want it & love it."
So now with heartfelt faith I don't wish for a fairy Godmother anymore but instead have a prayer in my heart, mind and on my lips that goes something like this . . ."Make me equal to my task". If He could change my heart once, He can do it again!
Once Upon A Time . . . there was a girl who seemed to have good grasp on the concept of Faith and Trust in the Lord.
Let me illustrate . . . after returning home from serving for 18 months as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints I was sitting one evening in my Mom's apartment doing . . . I don't remember. But while I was doing, I don't remember what, I heard a very distinct voice in my mind say, "You need to go to Dental Hygiene School." It totally caught me off guard, I had a job waiting for me as an Orthodontic Assistant at the office I worked at before serving a mission. I loved what I did there and felt content to make that my career. But I knew the source of this voice, it was the Lord speaking to me through the Holy Ghost. My response in my mind to this voice was . . ."OK. I don't really want to do that, but if that is what you want me to do then help me learn to love it."
Over the course of the next several years I took night classes at the local college so I could get my prerequisites completed so I could begin applying to dental hygiene schools. As I went to work everyday I began to become very passionate about what I did and began to truly have a desire and interest in pursuing dental hygiene. I looked into what seemed like every dental hygiene school west of the Mississippi. I applied to several; rejected by one, accepted by another and put on a waiting list for still another.
At each step along the way I felt my Heavenly Father guiding me and helping me chart the course he wanted me to take. During this time I met Paul, we got married began a family and I was pregnant with baby #2 when my time on the waiting list was over. I had a hard decision to make, but once again Heavenly Father guided me and helped me to know what He wanted me to do (that experience is a whole other blog post). I knew unmistakably what He needed me to do and I did it without looking back. Ultimately I never did go to dental hygiene school.
Fast Forward about 15 years; I was sitting in Sacrament Meeting a couple of Sunday's ago listening to our wonderful new Bishop give a talk on the Atonement when I remembered this forgotten experience. I realized then I needed to apply the Faith I once had to other aspects of my life. For sometime now I have struggled with a particular challenge that Heavenly Father has put in my life, having very little Faith that I could do it and lacking desire to do it. In one of my darkest times concerning this challenge I remember praying, I think more out of habit that anything else, and hearing these words, "I will help you." Unfortunately my doubting reply was, "I don't believe you." What kind of person says that to the Lord? Anyway, His reply back was, "I can't help you if you don't believe me. I guess then I can't help you then."
I have replayed this conversation over and over again in my mind since then wondering just how do I let the Lord help me? In all honesty I would really like a fairy Godmother to just take it all away. Then a couple of Sunday's ago this wonderful experience I had about 15 years ago showed me the answer . . . the Lord will not change the challenge or circumstances surrounding this challenge . . . but he will change my heart. "If this is what you want me to do then help me want it & love it."
So now with heartfelt faith I don't wish for a fairy Godmother anymore but instead have a prayer in my heart, mind and on my lips that goes something like this . . ."Make me equal to my task". If He could change my heart once, He can do it again!
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