What my life is like with . . .
We are on day number 11 of summer vacation. That leaves 66 more days until school starts in August. I was counting down the days until school was out, my kids would be home, I wouldn't have to pack sack lunches, hurry out the door in the morning or help kiddos with homework in the evening; but now that they are home, during the hours from 10am-4pm I find myself counting down the days until they are back in school. Between the hours of 10am-4pm I find myself being torn into at least 6 different directions and as I am being torn in these directions my weaknesses and frailties in life are being poured down over my head.
The direction that tends to tear at me the most these days is the one known as John! For many years now he received more of my time and energy than the other kiddos. I have noticed that the others have often been jealous and sometimes resentful of this attention. In my effort to see to the needs of the other kids, John has been left to his own demise more than is good for him over the last several months, and now that school is out I am paying the price.
Perhaps someday I will be able to say that I am thankful to have a child with autism by right now I hope, wish, dream and pray that it will go away and I can have a typical child. So what is my life like with a child with autism?
It is answering the same question 5 million times in just 10 minutes.
It is dealing with 2 year old tantrums in the body of a 7 year old.
It is having toys strewn from one end of the house to the other all the time.
It is hiding the masking tape, marbles, balls, buttons, magnets and any other object that rolls.
It is having a crib in the living room because we don't feel safe having the baby sleep in the same room as his big brother.
It is carrying noise cancelling headphones with us where ever we go.
It is reserving one place at the table for a messy eater.
It is finding all sorts of objects floating in the sink.
It is having a backyard water tub full of rocks and mud.
It is constantly checking to be sure clothes are on appropriately.
It is getting strange looks in the grocery store when the seven year old is riding in the shopping cart.
It is enduring looks from on lookers as a seemingly "normal" child makes crazy noises and makes odd repetitive movements.
It is enduring piles of torn and cut pieces of paper all over the floor.
It is dealing with a tantrum when the bubbles won't blow.
It is having a yelling house.
It is dealing with a melt down when things are not the way a child "expected" them to be.
It is taking three steps forward and 2 steps back (just when we think an issue is in the past, it resurfaces).
It is tears, tears and more tears at the realization that life is so hard for him.
It is patience, patience, patience, blow up, cry & discouragement at my lack of patience at dealing with the social deficits which are characteristic of autism.
It is enduring when you want to give up.
It is expecting the unexpected.
So with the reality of my life settling in for the summer my quest for the next 66 days is to undo all of the "bad" behaviors John learned during the past school year, and to once again find joy in John's journey (and my journey of having a child) with autism.
The direction that tends to tear at me the most these days is the one known as John! For many years now he received more of my time and energy than the other kiddos. I have noticed that the others have often been jealous and sometimes resentful of this attention. In my effort to see to the needs of the other kids, John has been left to his own demise more than is good for him over the last several months, and now that school is out I am paying the price.
Perhaps someday I will be able to say that I am thankful to have a child with autism by right now I hope, wish, dream and pray that it will go away and I can have a typical child. So what is my life like with a child with autism?
It is answering the same question 5 million times in just 10 minutes.
It is dealing with 2 year old tantrums in the body of a 7 year old.
It is having toys strewn from one end of the house to the other all the time.
It is hiding the masking tape, marbles, balls, buttons, magnets and any other object that rolls.
It is having a crib in the living room because we don't feel safe having the baby sleep in the same room as his big brother.
It is carrying noise cancelling headphones with us where ever we go.
It is reserving one place at the table for a messy eater.
It is finding all sorts of objects floating in the sink.
It is having a backyard water tub full of rocks and mud.
It is constantly checking to be sure clothes are on appropriately.
It is getting strange looks in the grocery store when the seven year old is riding in the shopping cart.
It is enduring looks from on lookers as a seemingly "normal" child makes crazy noises and makes odd repetitive movements.
It is enduring piles of torn and cut pieces of paper all over the floor.
It is dealing with a tantrum when the bubbles won't blow.
It is having a yelling house.
It is dealing with a melt down when things are not the way a child "expected" them to be.
It is taking three steps forward and 2 steps back (just when we think an issue is in the past, it resurfaces).
It is tears, tears and more tears at the realization that life is so hard for him.
It is patience, patience, patience, blow up, cry & discouragement at my lack of patience at dealing with the social deficits which are characteristic of autism.
It is enduring when you want to give up.
It is expecting the unexpected.
So with the reality of my life settling in for the summer my quest for the next 66 days is to undo all of the "bad" behaviors John learned during the past school year, and to once again find joy in John's journey (and my journey of having a child) with autism.
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