Where Did They Learn That?
This winter when my kiddos were home, couped up in the house because school was cancelled due to snow I started to make some observations about their behavior and wonder why do they do the things they do.
For example:
As I would drive John to therapy each week, I used that two hours to ponder these observations. My conclusion is they are just modeling the bad behavior they learn from their mother. Gasp! This couldn't be true?
Let me illustrate:
I don't recall myself seeing my toddlers playing with scissors or anything "off limits" and calmly and nicely saying, "Please hand Mommy the scissors" or "Would you please give me the scissors" But instead I walk over and just take it away and explain the offense after the item was grabbed away.
Oh, and that snotty tone of voice . . . it is the same tone I use when I have asked them to do somethings a million times and they are still not doing it. It is that same tone that they hear from me when they are out of bed for the countless number of times asking for a band aid, for their covers to be straightened, a drink of water, a hug, to have their hair braided, to tell me their eyes hurt or their head hurts, to complain that their sister's are breathing to loud, and the list goes on.
When I needed to tell one of them something, when was the last time I walked into their room saw them playing nicely with each other said, "Excuse me." and waited patiently for them to be done before I say what I went in there to say? Hmmmm.
And of course they expect me to jump at their every request because don't I expect them to come and set the table or clean up the toys on the first request. How often do I sing to them, When my mother calls me quickly I'll obey? And the more I have to ask/remind/nag the more impatient I become.
So really all my kiddos are doing is modeling the behavior that they see. I am learning that before I get frustrated at my kiddos and their bothersome behavior perhaps I need to take a good look in the mirror first.
When I was at a friends house a bit ago I saw the above picture hanging on her bathroom wall, and think it illustrates perfectly my observations. (Thanks Loretta!)
For example:
Why do kids continuously take toys from each other with out asking?
Why do they talk in a snotty tone to their mother and each other?
Why are they constantly interrupting me when I am on the phone or talking with someone (including their siblings)?
Why do they get impatient when I don't respond to their requests right away? Having a "do it now" attitude.
As I would drive John to therapy each week, I used that two hours to ponder these observations. My conclusion is they are just modeling the bad behavior they learn from their mother. Gasp! This couldn't be true?
Let me illustrate:
I don't recall myself seeing my toddlers playing with scissors or anything "off limits" and calmly and nicely saying, "Please hand Mommy the scissors" or "Would you please give me the scissors" But instead I walk over and just take it away and explain the offense after the item was grabbed away.
Oh, and that snotty tone of voice . . . it is the same tone I use when I have asked them to do somethings a million times and they are still not doing it. It is that same tone that they hear from me when they are out of bed for the countless number of times asking for a band aid, for their covers to be straightened, a drink of water, a hug, to have their hair braided, to tell me their eyes hurt or their head hurts, to complain that their sister's are breathing to loud, and the list goes on.
When I needed to tell one of them something, when was the last time I walked into their room saw them playing nicely with each other said, "Excuse me." and waited patiently for them to be done before I say what I went in there to say? Hmmmm.
And of course they expect me to jump at their every request because don't I expect them to come and set the table or clean up the toys on the first request. How often do I sing to them, When my mother calls me quickly I'll obey? And the more I have to ask/remind/nag the more impatient I become.
So really all my kiddos are doing is modeling the behavior that they see. I am learning that before I get frustrated at my kiddos and their bothersome behavior perhaps I need to take a good look in the mirror first.
When I was at a friends house a bit ago I saw the above picture hanging on her bathroom wall, and think it illustrates perfectly my observations. (Thanks Loretta!)
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