Domestic Goddess

A long time ago when I was working as an orthodontic assistant I was reviewing a new patient form and noticed that the mom listed as her occupation: Domestic Goddess. And from that day on I decided that that is what I wanted to be when I "grow up". I dreamed of having a beautifully decorated and spotless home, a flower garden to cut fresh flowers from to brighten my home, adorably and perfectly dressed children, preparing well balanced meals from scratch and from my vegetable garden, making homemade crafts for all occasions, etc. Something akin to an edition of Martha Stewart Magazine.

Well, after getting married and having four children the current reality is far from this dream I once had. Now I am just glad to have a home and am lucky to get the sticky kitchen floor mopped once a week. The splatters and fingerprints on the walls will have to wait for another decade. Yes, I have a flower garden but the flowers die before I get around to cutting them to bring inside. The flowers that are brought inside and put into a vase (it is really a Tupperware cup) are the dandelions and other weeds that I tell the kids to pick out of the grass. As for the kids, I am lucky to get their hair combed and most days I want to put a sign on Rachel that says "I dressed my self today". Homemade crafts? What was I thinking? There is no time for that. I'm hard pressed to find time to go potty or shower. Meals? Let's see, I am totally at peace with feeding the kids popcorn & yogurt for dinner or better yet cold cereal.


My one lingering ambition from my dream of being a domestic goddess is really more of an endeavour to be self-reliant and use my food storage. I do make homemade bread from fresh ground whole wheat each week. It makes the house smell great for days and I feel a great satisfaction knowing that I can use my food storage, save a few pennies and that I am providing my family something nutritious to eat.

As the years have passed my dreams have changed. I no longer dream of my life, home and family belonging in a Martha Stewart Magazine. Instead I get a secret thrill of writing on doctor office new patient forms, Occupation: MOM. And then I feel no need to give an explanation as to why my white van is tan, or why my clothes have stains, or why my house looks like a toy box exploded in it.

A real life story to illustrate: Last Tuesday after I dropped the three oldest kids off at school I took Sarah to a doctor's appointment. While I was driving in the car I stuck my damp hair on top (the literal top) of my head with a giant claw clip. This is not the kind of hair you wear in public but what goes on inside a car is not "in public" (that's why you see people picking their noses and singing their guts out to the radio). Anyway, I didn't remember I still had that huge clip on top of my head until I was in the doctor's office while Sarah was standing on the scale. I was embarrassed and laughed as I took the clip out and put it in the diaper bag. I made some comment to the nurse about forgetting about the hair clip. She was nice and told me she hadn't noticed and added with sincerity you are a Mom you don't need to explain. Thanks for understanding, I thought.

The other day I was reading a column in our local paper that is written by a Mom of 5 year old triplets (the three girls are in Rachel's preschool class.) In her story this week she was writing how since her three girls were born she wished she could be a stay at home mom, that there was a tug at her heart constantly to quit work as a teacher of visually impaired kids and stay at home. And even now that her girls are about to enter Kindergarten and would not be home during the day she still felt a tug in her heart to be home. She goes on to write how she has dreams of being a stay at home mom and accomplishing all those things I once dreamed about (the domestic goddess dream.)

I wanted to write a letter to the editor in response to her column, to report on the reality of life as a stay at home mom and let her know the grass is not always greener on the other side. I am a stay at home Mom and I dream about those same things that full-time working women with children dream about.

I have come to the conclusion that there are many dreams and ambitions that righteous Mothers choose to sacrifice in order to raise the spirit children of our Heavenly Father that he has blessed us with. Our Savior Jesus Christ says it best, "For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it." (Matt 16:25)

Happy Mother's Day!!